


Growing

by dullstarss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Raphael Santiago, F/M, Homoromantic Raphael Santiago, Human AU, Literally just how do you tag, M/M, Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt (mentioned) - Freeform, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Raphael's sexuality through the years, Simon Lewis being precious, Simon Lewis/Clary Fray (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dullstarss/pseuds/dullstarss
Summary: Just a quick li'l ficlet about Raphael and his sexuality/romanticism. AU where the Shadowhunters universe doesn't exist.-I tagged this as the TV show rather than the series just because I don't really ship them as the book characters. Also, I know I didn't really get a good grip on Raphael's personality, and I'm sorry about that.





	Growing

          Raphael is eight when the boys he goes to school with start talking about how cute girls are.

          He's confused; boys are much cuter. The way they smile and laugh, the way they joke and talk and roughhouse (he heard that word from Dánte's mom, and likes using it because it's long). When he says this, everyone looks at him funny, but then Adelmo brings up the fact that girls have cooties, and the whole conversation falls into squeals and vehement protests against the terror that is cooties.

          That night, Raphael asks his mother if boys can like boys. Ever the good Catholic, Guadalupe Santiago just smiles, smoothes back his flyaway black strands, and tells him that she will answer when he is older.

          Raphael is ten when he meets a ridiculously cute boy.

          He and his family moves to America. The next day, a brown haired ball of energy knocks on his door, with two front teeth missing, and wearing wide, round glasses that slip down his nose. He introduces himself as Simon Lewis, and within a week has decided that the two of them are best friends.

          Raphael's younger brother teases him about it, saying that soon Simon will replace himself as Raphael's brother. The thought doesn't settle with the elder well, but he isn't sure why.

          Raphael is twelve when he hears the word "gay" for the first time.

          He's at Clary's house with Simon, and there's an eighth grader there. His name is Magnus Bane, and he's talking about his girlfriend, a foreign exchange student named Camille Belcourt. Then Magnus mentions that he had had a boyfriend once. Clary asks, startled, if he's gay, and even after Magnus snorts and replies _no, thank you very much, I am not_ , the word- and the idea- is stuck in Raphael's mind.

           He asks his mother what it means the next morning. Startled, she replies that it doesn't matter. She will tell him when he is older.

           Raphael is fifteen when Simon starts dating Clary Fray.

           When he sees them holding hands, the brunet giggly and blushing and stumbling (over his words and feet), Raphael freezes up. He likes Clary well enough, but in that moment he felt a wave of dislike.

            _Stop being silly,_ he tells himself. _Simon seems happy._

 _He was happy with you too, wasn't he?_  another voice says, in the back of his mind. He decides not to listen to that voice anymore.

           Two months later, Clary and Simon broke up. If Raphael's mother notices how her son looks pleased but guilty, she doesn't mention it.

           Raphael is sixteen when his friends start talking about sex.

           They're all laughing, some of them blushing together, some telling graphic stories. Raphael, on the other hand, is silent, a little confused. He had always assumed that he was too young for whatever it was that made people want to have sex. Clearly, though, he wasn't. Maybe there was just something wrong with him.

           A few nights later Raphael asks his mother about it. She looks confused, but shrugs and says that maybe the hormones hadn't kicked in yet.

           Raphael is nineteen when he realizes he's asexual. That's the same year he starts dating Simon Lewis, who has barely progressed from his eleven-year-old self.

           The relationship starts off slowly. By the time Raphael is twenty and Simon twenty-one, Simon is asking if Raphael wants to progress in the relationship. Raphael pretends to not know what he means at first, but then the brunet ruins that by saying he was wondering if they could have sex (he's alternately stumbling and rushing and muttering, so it's only by years of experience that Raphael knows what he's saying).

            A few minutes later, Simon is wide eyed and blinking, but he smiles and leans in to kiss his boyfriend softly, innocently. Raphael practically crumbles into him, relieved, and they spend the rest of the night cuddling and ranting about Star Wars versus Star Trek (although the last part is a bit one-sided).

            Later that week, Raphael and Simon finally tell their families they're dating. Rebecca smacks them both up the head (and they both pretend it didn't hurt), and says that it's about time. Mamá Guadalupe, on the other hand, chews on her nails and then says that she's glad it's Simon if it's anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! Hope everyone liked it. Thoughts, comments, things I can do to improve?
> 
> Also, I kind of kept the same format for a reason. I'm wondering if anyone will notice what I did at the end? See if you can!  
> Sorry if I made Mamá Guadalupe seem like a bad parent. I absolutely adore her from what we know of her. However, she's Catholic, and most (not all!!) Catholics aren't accepting or knowledgeable of the lgbtq+ community. She was based loosely off of my own mother (who is also Catholic). I was attempting to make it a bit realistic.  
> One last thing, because I physically cannot shut up. I made it so short on purpose, because this isn't really a fic, more just a study, I guess. Hopefully someday I'll get to fics that are actually longer than 1K. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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